Dear Zuzu ,
I am writing this letter to you , so that when you grow up, you can read it and go on to find out why I decided to work after you were born.
So you were born on 3-Jan-2015 …Ah, why am I telling this to you ? , because when you will be reading this you would be old enough and would have reached an age wherein you would be giving treats to your friends on birthday.As cliche, it might sound but yes , I worked for your future and your well-being, yes that is true.After you were born , I was on maternity leaves for nearly 6 months .After that ,a month or so you were at home when I decided to take you to the day-care at my office when you had just entered your eighth month.Yes, I decided to work and leave you at the day -care.The world calls me selfish for doing that.Because I left an eight-month-old baby in the hands of unknown people , just to go to a job.For them, it might be just another job, but for me, it was my bread and butter .Yes having served in an organization this long(almost 6 years) is quite a thing. I wanted to go back to the organization which had given me my first job.People advised me to take more break and then join a new organization , but I wanted to go back to my old place only.Put it plain simple , I did not want to change organizations at that point of time because I felt I was not yet ready for handling the challenges of a new organization and an eight-month-old baby simultaneously.Yes I would not shy away from saying that a new organization scared me and giving a hard core technical interview after like 6 months of maternity leave scared me .Yes , selfish it might sound, but I wanted to work even after having you.
I wanted to work because :
1. I loved it – I have seen my mom doing it ,and I wanted to do the same- not because I wanted to copy her , but for plain reasons that I liked it.
2. It was my bread and butter- I wouldn’t shy away from saying , but the very thought of quitting my job gave me goosebumps, as to from where we will manage our funds.And also I was not too sure of taking a break and then coming back to corporate after a sabbatical.
3. I wanted to give you the best – It might sound strange in the sense , but yes I wanted to give you the best in life, just like any mother on this earth would do for his/her kid.
4. I wanted to be proud of myself and want you to feel the same for me- As you grow older, I want to grow with you .I hope one day you will hug me and say ‘Mom-Good Job‘
As far as looking after you was concerned , I have never got two thoughts on it.There have been times when I used to get calls from daycare when you were adjusting initially , I would rush from my workstation just to be at your side and confirm that you were okay.I run for each and everything that was required by you.I didn’t even hire a maid , during my maternity leaves because I wanted to spend the maximum amount of time with you, even if it meant getting baggy eyes and dark circles under my eyes.Yes, I have bathed , massaged you all by myself.I just took a one-day tutorial from your Nani(maternal grandmother) for this.I had kept a maid for cooking, she insisted on cooking for you as well when I had introduced solids to you.But I refrained her from cooking for you.This is because I loved cooking for you, even if it meant just a plain simple ‘Daal Ka Paani or just one small bowl of ‘Sooji Ka Halwa’ .No feeling can beat that feeling when you cook for your kid.It gave me immense joy.I guess my emotions went into that cooking of mine , and that’s why you are healthy and beautiful .(Aaah…Go and Look In The Mirror Today -Yes you are beautiful).Also, there was this ,one maid who did your bathing and massaging for a few days, but that put me in guilt for not spending time with you.As a mother, I felt the best part of the day was in the morning when I bathed and massaged you,as it was during this time you were the happiest and we used to cackle and talk to each other. I will continue to do so until you are big enough to take charge all by yourself.You even got ill within a few days after joining the day care .I was again called a bad Mom for sending such a little baby to a day care.I was given suggestions from families and friends that they could keep you , but frankly speaking , my gut did not allow me to leave you with any of our relatives, families or friends. All this while I kept my calm and had a very strong belief in almighty that all is going to be fine , and you and I will sail through this as well.I am not saying , this , just to communicate the fact that I did it.The main motive is that I did all this, happily and loved every part of it.
Zuzu , I just want you to know that I love you unconditionally and will continue to do so.I am very bad at drawing .I draw terribly.So when I met your aunt who is a very good at paintings and drawings , she drew something very beautiful for you.That day I thought to myself , that I will also learn drawing.If not master, I’ll at least manage a decent one, I promise.And I have already started doing that already.I will attend your parent’s teacher meet and fancy dress and recital competitions.I will help at your art , music and maths lessons . I will take you on picnics, outings and holidays,and when you grow up continue to support you in your career and relations …only if you permit me to do so.Overall, and above I try to be your best friend ,mentor , teacher and whatever you say. I said I’ll try because the motherly instincts always happen to overpower best friend instincts.
Regardless of what the world sees me like, I consider myself a MOM who excelled at both work and home.I hope you also give a shout out to me ‘Ayye Ayye Mumma‘ , after reading this letter.
P.S.- On a side note I got all emotional, writing this letter , that the keypad of laptop has tear droplets on it ,and is a testimony to how much I love you.
Your working Mom! 🙂
And to the world , please stop judging a working mom.She loves her kids as much as a stay at home mom would do.When males can work after a baby without any bias, females should also have that privilege.I chose to be a working mom because I wanted to .Stop judging a stay at home mom or a working mom.A mom knows the best and will do the best for her child .The last thing she requires is an unwanted advice from the world who hardly cares for her .
Also, why do people give their baby in the hands of maids who are said to be professional masseurs , but cannot expect them to take care of the baby?People look down upon you if you do not hire a professional person who can massage and bathe the baby.Double standards , I suppose.